Almost exactly one year ago I wrote an article about the arrest of the D.C. Madam and made the following prediction which came true yesterday: “I predict that the D.C. Madam will die of mysterious causes some time this year and the rest of the list will disappear, if she doesn’t enter the witness protection program very soon.” Read the rest of that post here.

Sadly, no one won the 80GB Video iPod I offered as the prize to the person that predicted the exact date and yes, my prediction did state that the death would occur in 2007, but apparently someone was more patient than I expected.

Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the D.C. Madam, was found dead yesterday in a shed near her mother’s house in Tarpon Springs, FL. Police believe she hanged herself although I’m pretty sure she had some help.

At the time of her arrest Ms. Palfrey threatened to release a book listing the identities of her customers, some of whom were apparently quite important. Even Dick Cheney’s name was rumored to be on the list. Ultimately, only three names from the list were made public. Randall Tobias, a deputy secretary of state, who resigned immediately; Harlan Ullman, a military analyst that helped design the “shock and awe” strategy used in Iraq: and Senator David Vitter from Louisiana who has so far kept his job although his chances for re-election seem dubious.

Source: The New York Times

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Both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have spent millions of dollars of their own and other people’s money and in the end it will all become a futile waste of time and money because neither of them will defeat John McCain in the election.

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This post is an experiment of sorts. It is being written and posted directly from my new Samsung i760 with a slide out qwerty keyboard. (The thought of writing anything more than short text messages on the tiny keys of a Blackberry or worse yet by using the numeric keypad on a cell phone doesn’t appeal to me.) What’s the point of the experiment? Well, somehow I get the feeling that with the advent of the iPhone and Pocket PCs and the need we all have to share experiences and opinions and the average person’s need to get news the instant it happens, Moblogging (mobile blogging) offers the perfect opportunity to bring these two things together.

I’m seriously considering starting a separate blog that will be run solely from my mobile phone. I haven’t decided on a theme yet but it will be something that lends itself to the medium. Maybe I’ll call it Speed Blogger and all of my posts will be done while driving really fast. Photos for the posts would probably be mostly of irate drivers expressing their opinions of my technique or of Highway Patrol officers writing citations or of my cell mates asking, “What are you in for?” but it might be fun.

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What more needs to be said?

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I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been tied up with other projects, but I thought all you titty lovers out there would appreciate this one.

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When police officers question the victim of a rape, one of the first things they ask is if the woman can identify her attacker. Occasionally the victim knows the rapist which helps speed up the process but in most cases the cops have to work with a description.

Cop: What did the man look like?

Victim: I don’t know, he was wearing a mask.

Cop: How about his height and build. Tall, short, fat, skinny?

Victim: Average

Cop: Did he have any identifying marks, like a tattoo?

Victim: I don’t know, he was wearing long sleeves and gloves… Wait, there is one thing.

Cop: Yes?

Victim: He had incredibly bad breath.

Normally, that last bit of information wouldn’t be extremely helpful because lots of people have bad breath but in this case it turned out that the rapist had exactly the same bad breath as the victim’s boss, Tuen K. Lee.

Fortunately his DNA was also found at the scene and he was arrested and convicted of rape yesterday by a Norfolk, Massachusetts Superior Court.

Unfortunately, Mr. Lee’s whereabouts are currently unknown. He failed to show up for the final day of the trial. Local authorities are asking anyone that comes in contact with an average-looking Asian man with bad breath to get in touch with them right away.

I predict that there are going to be a lot of rape victims describing their attackers as having “minty fresh breath” for a while.

Source: Boston Herald

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I’ll admit that I use my cell phone while I’m driving and I realize that at times I’m not as attentive to my driving as I should be, but how many times have you been behind a driver using a cell phone that is going too slow or obviously not paying attention to what they’re doing and it dawns on your just how dangerous it can really be? In some states it’s a law that you can’t drive while using a cell phone unless you have a hands-free mic. But now…

…now there are morons that talk to camcorders while they’re driving.

Vlogging is becoming quite popular and is seemingly more popular than podcasting. I guess because people like watching someone talk to them more than just listening to someone talking to them. A lot of vloggers will walk while holding their camcorders to add some interest to their videos. I saw one the other day where a guy had a camera mounted on his motorcycle helmet and was recording his vlog while weaving in and out of traffic at insane speeds. However, this geektard wins the prize and I’ve got a feeling that soon, she’ll be honored with a Darwin Award.

Rashisha posted this video on YouTube but unfortunately turned off the embed option so you’ll have to follow this link to watch it. Notice how many times she fixes her hair, how much time she spends looking at the camera instead of the road, and how little time her freaking hands are actually on the steering wheel.

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Combe Incorporated, manufacturer of Just For Men hair color, has just announced the signing of Osama bin Laden as the company’s newest spokesman. As you can see in the newly released video below, bin Laden’s usually shaggy beard is not only neatly trimmed, but has gone from mostly grey to black.

Sales of Just For Men have slumped recently as more men are becoming comfortable with looking their age and fewer are resorting to hair dyes to maintain a youthful appearance. The company hopes the dramatic change in bin Laden’s appearance will help reverse that trend.

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Are you the parents of a teenage girl that gives you constant attitude, stays out late, hangs around with the wrong crowd, drinks or does drugs, and has basically driven you to your wits end? Then have I got the solution for you. Not only can you legally move her out of the house — even if she’s as young as 14 — but you can make a ton of money at the same time.

MarryOurDaughter.com is a matchmaking service for girls between the ages of 14 and 18 and for a mere 5% they will help you find the perfect husband for your daughter.

Now I know that many of you are about to jump out of your skins with excitement at the prospect of kicking your 15-year old brat out of the house and picking up enough cash to take a nice long cruise, but you may be wondering if this is really legal. Apparently it is, at least according to the owners of the site, because most states allow girls to marry at ages younger than 18 as long as they have parental consent.

For example, here is the law in New York:

If you are 16 or 17 years of age, you will need to have a completed parental consent form filled out by both parents. If you are either 14 or 15 years of age, you will need to show the written consent of both parents and a justice of the Supreme Court or a judge of the local Family Court.

If you live in New Hampshire you really have it made.

In New Hampshire, a female between the age of 13 and 17 years and a male between the age of 14 and 17 years can be married only with the permission of their parent (guardian) and a waiver.

One of the first things I thought when I found this site was that it surely can’t be legal to sell people, but don’t worry, the Bible says it’s OK.

Q: IS YOUR SERVICE LEGAL?
A: Absolutely. Within the United States girls can marry as young as 13 years old with parental permission, and the Bride Price is a custom of long standing, mentioned many times in the Bible, and as such is a protected religious practice. Click here for a listing of the age limits and legal requirements in various states. Click here for what the Bible says on Bride Price.

So, you’re sold on the idea and wondering how to set your price, right? Marry Our Daughter leaves the price up to you, but as far as I can tell from the prices on the site, it’s pretty much the same as selling a car. Prices range from $6,000 to $100,000 and the more options and the better the quality, the higher the price.

For example, Hailey is a rising star and has been featured in local billboard ads and modeled for national catalogs. Her dream is to break into movies and television and her bride price is $99,995.

On the opposite end of the bride price spectrum, “Cheyenne has had trouble with unchristian desires” and needs a husband with strong Christian values. Cheyenne is available for the bargain price of $5,995.

Purely for research purposes, I sent in a proposal for a nice 15-year old and here is the email response I received.

Marry Our Daughter has received your Proposal and will review it. If we find it sincere and appropriate, we will forward it to your prospective bride. This process may take several weeks, so please be patient.

I’m not really the type that expects a pat on the back every time I help someone out, but if this works out for you, please post a comment to let us know how things went and how much you got for your daughter.

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I’m on a YouTube roll today, but here’s Miss Teen South Carolina answering a geography question in the Miss Teen USA competition. Her parents must be so proud.

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