Al Gore says we’ll all be dead in ten years in his documentary about global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, and although he blames man for the problem, apparently we actually have cows to thank for our pending imminent demise.

According to recent studies, cow farts account for one third of the world’s methane emissions. A single cow gives off approximately 400 liters of methane gas in one day and methane is twenty times more harmful to the atmosphere than carbon dioxide, which currently gets most of the bad press.

The solution is obvious and will actually accomplish two things. I propose that we find a way to collect the methane from cows and then begin manufacturing more new cars that run on methane gas. We’ll reduce our dependence on oil and drastically slow global warming at the same time.

Methane would cost about $.10 a gallon and Volvo is already producing a bi-fuel engine that burns methane and uses gasoline as a backup fuel. The five-cylinder 2.4-liter Bi-Fuel engine for the Volvo S80, Volvo V70 and Volvo S60 is powered by methane and maximum power output is 140 hp.

I’ve begun working on some plans for a methane milking machine which involves light-weight tubing and an ingenious system for keeping the long hoses from becoming tangled. I’m looking for a good name for the device before filing for the patent and I’ll be happy to give credit to anyone that suggests the best name.

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