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Man Charged with Stealing $250,000 Worth of Skittles to Stop Gays

Alan Chavez, 22, from Dallas, Texas, has been arrested for stealing a truck loaded with $250,000 worth of Skittles. When questioned, it became clear that his motives were not for profit or because his fat trailer-trash wife likes candy.

Chavez says he’s tired of Mars Incorporated, — the company behind Skittles, Snickers and M&Ms — attempting to turn impressionable young people gay with the ‘Taste the Rainbow’ tagline and putting the gay rainbow on everything.

“This shit has been making me sick for years, but when they went after Nascar fans with their fag advertising, I said enough is enough,” Chavez told reporters. “When my nephew showed up at the trailer one day with his toy #36 Ernie Irvin race car and wearing a rainbow t-shirt and I heard him singing that fucking Tomorrow song from Annie, I flipped out and decided it was time to do something about this before it was too late.”

Apparently that’s when Chavez hatched his plan to hijack the Skittles truck. “I figured if I could keep kids from buying the candies, I might at least be able to save a few of them.”

When approached for a comment, his fat trailer-trash ole lady just said, “Hell, I don’t know what come over him, all I know is I jess lak Skittles a whole lot is all.”

For the benefit of the three of you that don’t know, the rainbow flag is a symbol of the gay community.

Source: CNN

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