Comment from Jeremy Jacobs
Time: March 23, 2007, 11:54 am

Jesus saves, Moses invests!

Comment from Diesel
Time: March 23, 2007, 12:05 pm

Hammer - Come play in my caption contest!

Comment from JD
Time: March 27, 2007, 1:58 am

You should know better than to judge a religion based on its famous and crazy supposed members. There are scores and leagues of wonderful Christians out there, they’re just not as vocal as the crazies.

Comment from IDS
Time: March 27, 2007, 5:46 am

Anyone who thinks that the Christ would work for the selfish, hateful, humorless, so-called religious right, who hasn’t been right about anything for at least 2,000 years, must be out of their mind. Remember, the (Jewish) religious right are the same people who tell everyone what’s kosher and what’s not kosher, and then try to shove their beliefs down everyone’s throat. The (Christian) religious right are the same ones who tried to use the Bible to defend slavery, but you don’t have to look to ancient history. When I was a kid they said that interracial marriage was against the word of God–How would they know! The (Muslim) religious right say that it’s okay to detonate strap-on bombs around innocent people, because God really likes it when you do that–How the F would they know?

Comment from Hammer
Time: March 27, 2007, 6:44 am

JD, I’m not judging anyone, I’m simply poking fun at the over zealous fundamentalists that claim that if you’re not born again you won’t get to heaven. I wonder, do you believe that? If not, what would you say to someone that tells you you’re going to hell unless you are born again? And since you aren’t judging anyone, what would you tell all the billions of people in the world that aren’t Christians, but still believe in a God?

Comment from Jim
Time: March 27, 2007, 9:56 am

Silly people, there is no such thing as God, Santa, the Tooth-Fairy, or Fbah(spelling?)(Yeah, I just made that one up).

Not to get into that atheist argument or anything but a lot of people ask me if I want to go to hell or think I need to be “saved”. I usually tell them that they need to be saved from their delusions, which generally angers them.

Comment from sam
Time: March 27, 2007, 11:17 am

I anwered ur questions

Will it hurt?
nope

Won’t my parents feel like failures?
why would they feel like failures? there’s plenty of great ppl who are christians. Christianity is very logical and the Bible is one of the most historically accurate books around. and if u look at all the arguments against evolution it really seems like u would have to be crazy to believe in it. (no offense anyone)

Why do I have to be born twice to get into heaven?
u don’t actually have to be “born” twice; that is only a metafore. What it means is u have to throw off ur old self and repent and just kinda start over. its alot like how a snake sheds its old skin.

I’m pretty happy with the way I came out the first time. What if this time I come out with a pointy head, or an extra arm, or a small penis?
See above answer

Does the fact that I try to get back in two or three times a week count for anything?
“get back”? sorry don’t understand

I was smoking some hash and listening to a Black Sabbath album once, when I was a teenager, and I’m pretty sure I saw God. Does that count?
nope, sorry. God does appear to ppl but not usually when they’re high.

When I buy a Rolex from a guy that has that little fish symbol on his car, does that really mean he’s honest?
nope, its not what ppl say but what ppl do that shows that they are christians. because the bible says actions speak louder then words, and in the end what it comes down to is what you believe in ur heart.

Can I spend the next 18 years being completely irresponsible and letting my parents support me again?
you could do that but it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. because we only have one life to live so we better make it count.

What’s in it for me besides everlasting life? Because I’m not so sure I want to spend eternity hanging out with the kind of people that are always trying to convince me I need to be born again.
well i think that spending eternity in heaven as supposed to going to hell is a pretty good gift. and just for the record not all christians are like the one u recently met; because all my friends r really cool and play fps and watch cool movies like 300, its just that sometimes its hard to tell if someone is a christian if u don’t know them well enough.

Can I get a guarantee that it’ll work?
if u really actually believe Jesus died on the cross for ur sins, then i guarantee it will work.

If this one doesn’t take, can I try again until I get it right?
sorry, u, me, and everyone else only get one “try”

When the time comes, how will they know I am when I get there? Do I need to wear a t-shirt that says, “I’m BAC?”
God will know if u r a christian or not, because He can see into all of our hearts.

If I do wear a shirt that says, “I’m BAC”, and I’m really not, will that fool them?
that won’t work, because when Jesus returns, He will take our souls up to heaven, and then destroy the material world and make “a new heaven and earth”. and the new one won’t have suffuring or death on it.

When Jesus said “I tell you the truth, no one can see the Kingdom of God unless he is born again.”, did he mean that women can’t get into heaven? What about babies, Mormons, Jews, Muslims and Hindus? What about non-fundamentalist Christians that don’t believe they need to be born again? Are they all screwed?
that is a popular argument against the Bible, but it has a simple
answer. the Bible really doesn’t mean that only men will get into heaven, its just that they talked like that back then. for example when we say “mankind”, do we only mean men? nope (and i’m sure if u look in some newer translation u will find its been changed to “they” or to something else). Christianity is free for EVERYONE, it doesn’t matter if u are the richest or poorest person on the planet, or if u are about to be executed for murdering someone. everyone can get to heaven, and it requires no ritual or anything; as long as u truly believe that Jesus died on the cross for ur sins, u will go to heaven.

George W. Bush and serial killer David Berkowitz (Son of Sam) were born again. Shouldn’t that tell you something?
lol ok, u may have a point there, but Jesus loves everyone; whether they be democrats, republicans, or even communists! and u also must remember that even if someone says they are a christian or has a fish bumper sticker, that doesn’t mean that they are born again; its what goes on in the heart that really matters.

i hope i cleared up the questions u had
feel free to email me if u have any more too
BTW, i liked the realtime death toll counter

Comment from Not Sam
Time: March 27, 2007, 12:38 pm

I don’t see the point of being a “born again” Christian.

To be Christian means to be Christ-like. What is the story of this Christ character? Well he was a nice guy, he helped other people out to the best of his ability, he preached equality and he tried to share his wisdom with everyone passively.

I’ve read through the bible and I’ve been confirmed. I don’t go to church, I don’t push my beliefs on others and really - I like investigating other religions and points of view.

I try to treat others as equals, share my wisdom patiently with others who will take it.

I don’t know if I’m a nice guy but hey, two out of three isn’t bad - is it?

Being a born-again Christian is like having a mid-life crisis. You aren’t quite sure of your stance so you need some re-assurance. Good for you! Whatever motivates you in life.

Personally, I’ll keep living and learning and not going to church.

“The most interesting things in the universe happen on the boundary between chaos and order.”

Everything is an equilibrium. If you push it - expect it to push back.

- Done.

Comment from Hammer
Time: March 27, 2007, 1:00 pm

Well, Sam, thank you for your well thought out responses to my questions, although they were mostly rhetorical, but if you don’t know what I mean by ‘getting back in’ I can only assume that you’ve never had sex with a woman.

“if u really actually believe Jesus died on the cross for ur sins, then i guarantee it will work.”

How can you guarantee it? I don’t even know any priests that will offer that guarantee.

“God does appear to ppl but not usually when they’re high.”

Actually that’s not true. That’s the time when God appears to people the most. Either that, or they’re insane. Anyone that claims God actually spoke to them is schizophrenic or high.

Comment from Hammer
Time: March 27, 2007, 1:48 pm

I agree with you, Sam, but unfortunately, according to the fundies, you and I are going to Hell.