Newly crowned Miss USA, Tara Conner, has emerged from her 31-day stint in rehab like a butterfly from a cocoon, telling People Magazine that “I’m a completely different person out of rehab”.

Miss Conner agreed to enter rehab after nearly being stripped (of her title) by Donald Trump, co-owner of the Miss Universe group, following allegations of drug use, underage drinking and lesbian kissing (schwing) Miss Teen USA Katie Blair in public.

The publicity stunt worked flawlessly and if Conner continues to let Trump handle her career, instead of going on to become a secretary who can tell her friends that she was once a Miss USA, she’ll be a star.

Next on the agenda will be the highly effective public display of the vagina followed by the release of a private sex video. Taking a tip from her friends Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, Conner is currently taking acting lessons to be sure that her shock at hearing the news will be believable.

Rumor has it that Penthouse magazine offered Conner a pictorial contract and it’s been reported that Trump is entertaining the idea of letting her pose for Playboy. I assume that will happen after her reign as Miss USA though.

My only advice to Miss Conner is that she keep her coochie shaved or at least nicely trimmed and please do the flashing before you get pregnant, because those post baby upskirt shot’s of Britney were just plain nasty.

Source: ABC News