Oprah Calls Her Vagina Her “Va-Jay-Jay”; Hammer Suggests New Name for Penis
By now I’m sure you’ve all heard the jokes about Oprah referring to her vagina as her va-jay-jay because, well, I guess she just can’t bring herself to call it her vagina, pussy, cunt, twat, slit hooha, poontang, or fuzzy taco.
To be honest, I’ve always felt some embarrassment when referring to my sex organ in public, too. If I’m talking to guys it’s no big deal and in those situations I call it my dick, but around women I find that term a bit too informal, so I usually call it my penis. But, for some reason, when you say the word penis around a group of people it usually results in snickers, giggles and a few red faces.
So, I’ve decided to take Oprah’s lead and suggest a new word for a man’s organ that won’t be as embarrassing to say as penis or as rude as dick, cock, root, wangnoodle, johnson, schlong, pecker, peter, trouser snake, wiener, willy, tallywhacker, dong, or my wife’s personal favorite name for my penis, hammer.
From now on, I will be referring to my penis as my pa-nee-nee. Everyone in the room that has been following the conversation will know what I’m talking about and the rest will just assume I’m describing my favorite sandwich.
Posted: July 3rd, 2007 under Commentary.
Comments: 7
Comments
Comment from Greg
Time: July 3, 2007, 1:58 pm
Hammer, have you considered that it isn’t the word that they are laughing at?
My sons call their penises their peepers, which bothers me a bit because each time they watch Noggin, that little moose on there always says, “Now point your peepers at this.”
If you need some desensitization work, then buy a small dog and name it “Penis.” After a while you won’t feel so self-conscious about telling people you played with your Penis last night. Or asking women if they’d like to touch your Penis. And if it is a very tiny dog, you can ask people that walk by to be careful not to step on your Penis.
Comment from Hammer
Time: July 3, 2007, 3:05 pm
Nah, I think it’s because it’s a funny word.
But, why Oprah doesn’t like the word vagina, I don’t know.
Comment from reasonable robinson
Time: July 4, 2007, 12:10 am
Brilliant mate! - right laugh - no stopping now - I work with a right A ho Ho 
Comment from Goldy
Time: July 4, 2007, 3:12 am
my pa-nee-nee just pissed my pants i am laughing so hard.
btw… has anyone ever seen oprah’s pusssy?
Comment from Jill
Time: July 4, 2007, 3:52 pm
I just wanna add “booh-kee-looh-kee” to the vagina list…
Comment from Laurie Anne
Time: July 5, 2007, 1:36 am
What about the polite and British, John Thomas??? So I’m assuming you’re uncircumsized? Hammer Uncut?
Comment from Lisa Wines
Time: July 5, 2007, 2:26 am
Oh man. Pa-nee-nee. I’m dyin’ here.
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